Relationships

Many partners get to a point in their relationship where they feel unheard, misunderstood, unappreciated & frustrated, & experience repeating patterns of conflict that don’t resolve. And thinking ‘we’re just too different’, or ‘they’ve changed – this is not who I thought I was marrying’, or labelling each other’s character as ‘flawed/wrong’ –only creates defence, blame and shame.

Please know – the challenges – they are not your fault. And interestingly – they are not your partner’s fault. I know you might like to think they are. However, thinking so creates blame, judgement and division. Trying to make your partner understand they are ‘wrong’ will only get you ONE thing – not heard.

The real problem is misunderstanding and misinterpreting each other’s needs and reactions that leads to judging and blaming…which leads to feeling disconnected. It’s not cleanly being able to express what you need in a way that won’t get the other persons back up. It’s not difference that’s the problem. Its poorly expressed needs.

You actually got attracted to each other for the very reason you are now struggling. Difference IS the attraction. You each have gifts that the other needs. It’s in our primary relationships, with the person closest to us that we get to know who we really are. Spending so much time together you are bound to push each other’s buttons from the past & step on each other’s core wounds from childhood. You are in this relationship to heal and grow each other. If you know how. Or you can hurt each other. There is a choice.

The work at the Agency helps couples create an ATTUNED relationship – where each person’s differences are honoured and used to grow each other. When partners’ understand their needs are equally important and valid, it increases motivation to willingly support each other’s needs, now and consistently into the future.

The result is you each feel heard, understood and valued. Where you each can speak your truth and be heard & understood, creating emotional safety and a deep connection.