The Insight Agency

DECODE
Your
Couple D.N.A
TM

Preserve & Protect Your Love, Ever After

An effective unique 6 step method that quickly & positively protects your Love & deepens intimacy. And gets at the root cause of challenges in relationships to
predict and prevent them.

To ensure your connection is unwavering for life & you avoid predictable misunderstandings and hurt.

The missing piece in relationship work.

 
 If you are pre marriage or early marriage or committing you NEED to know YOUR Couple D.N.A. if you want to be in the 25% of marriages that thrive (and not in the 50% that end in suffering)
I’m so glad you’re here. It means you are taking ownership for creating the most loving relationship you can. And that’s half the work. Relationships can be so mystifying and confusing…but they don’t have to be. I’m passionate about partners not misunderstanding and unintentionally hurting one another. Therefore, I have spent years developing and testing a therapeutic predictive, preventative method that can be ‘truly life changing’, as many couples have told me, and wished they’d learned years ago as they clearly see it would have prevented their hurt.
So, if you are here for any of the reasons below…..It’s No WONDER.
So, maybe…….
  • you’re in a new relationship and want to future proof it… you do NOT want to be one of the 50% of marriages that end in pain: You are wisely seeking early intervention to understand, protect and enhance your unique connection even further?
  • you are feeling frustrated/confused re your partner’s reactions/behaviour/triggers, and would like to understand one another more deeply?
  • you think your partner doesn’t understand how important certain things are to you, or doesn’t seem to care, responding with blame & defensiveness?
  • you know you love each other but find you are stuck in an infinity trap of repeating unhelpful patterns you’ve tried to break, not understanding each other’s perspectives, thinking and feelings, each of you trying be heard, but nothing has worked?
  • you are thinking “maybe I’ve married the wrong person” (no, you haven’t) or “we have “irreconcilable” differences” (rarely the case)?

In just 3-6 sessions together we can:

  • Discover your unique Couple D.N.A – Understand accurately your & your partner’s personality PATTERNS – there are two sets of core beliefs, motivations, attentional biases, needs, triggers and strategies that all INTERACT to create your dynamics…and you MUST know these…as early as possible in your relationship
  • Explore the unconscious dynamics and blind spots at play in your relationship (we can’t change what we don’t know)
  •  Compassionately understand past wounds, vulnerabilities and hurts (that often aren’t identified, nor healed). It is these wounds that we trigger in one another – and then blame our partner for causing them, (which they didn’t) -which triggers their defensive/attack response. You both need to know each others wounds at the start so you don’t unintentionally step on them, & if you do – respond in a healing way, rather then compounding the hurt. We can induce attachment trauma in one another – and that is the last thing we ever want to do!
  • Understand that our reactivity is ‘hurt’, and a sign something in us needs healing. It is actually our partner who is the best placed person to help us heal, WHEN they know how. Turning triggers into healing.
  • Discover the 10 differences between you and your partner that need to be understood & honored to avoid misunderstandings, wrong assumptions and wrong conclusions that are the root cause of relationship challenges. Most times differences are not ‘irreconcilable’   – differences are ‘misunderstood’. The differences are NOT the problem; they are part of the attraction, and are what you actually need in order to heal and grow.
  • Understand every behaviour is a strategy to meet needs. Work out why the strategies you’ve been using haven’t worked, and co-create new strategies to meet YOUR needs AND your partner’s needs. (Its not about ‘treating our partner like we’d like to be treated’ – it is ‘treating’ them as they’d like to be ‘treated’, and vice versa).
  • Learn to communicate what really matters, in a way that your partner can truly understand and hear you, doesn’t get defensive, & instead feels motivated to support you. Learning to have needs based conversations.
  • Finally, know how to be agents of healing and growth, making it so safe that you can both be vulnerable and allow your true whole selves to be seen, accepted and loved- bringing out the best in each other & protecting your LOVE for a lifetime.
If I had one wish….

It would be that all couples knew earlier on their fundamental personality patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving – and that most of their relationship challenges are predictable and preventable. My clients frequently tell me that they are devastated they didn’t know this information earlier in their relationship. It is heartbreaking. The suffering in a deteriorating relationship can create immense pain- we get attached to a primary person for them to be our safe place, and when they become the person we perceive as harming us – that is a very painful paradox that can create attachment trauma. I believe our worst behaviours come out when this is what we are experiencing.  And all conflict is about poorly expressed needs. Couples come to understand their triggers, learn how to heal, and how they can prevent hurting one another and instead increase their intimacy (In To Me See). 

If they’d only known 3 things : the missing piece from relationship work
1. How their two personalities interact
2.Their core wounds and vulnerabilities that will likely be triggered over time 
3. How to have needs based conversations 

In doing these sessions, couples came to realise that they’ve misinterpreted & jumped to wrong conclusions about their partner’s thinking, intentions and behaviour all along, creating unintentional and unnecessary pain. Now, however, they are being agents of healing and care for one another & can finally embrace the potential that was always there between them. And they can find the higher purpose to their unique union. Partners leave feeling excited, positive and seeing the best in one another in a sustainable way.

It is the greatest privilege in my life to witness couples deepening their connection, leaving holding hands,  understanding each other anew, attuned to one another’s needs again & with a greater depth of intimacy and sense of commitment to be each other’s person.

I offer a range of interventions depending on the stage of your relationship:
1. For couples pre-marriage or early marriage do the 3 x 2.5 hour Discover Your Couple D.N.A Program to lay a transformative foundation of understanding and compassion,  (one session/week, or ideally a day and a half Couple Inner Retreat at The agency).  

2. Or if its pre baby– do the Couple D.N.A (my method) 1.5 days PLUS Bringing Baby Home (the Gottmans method I’m certified in) 1 day…..to deepen your understanding of each other, and of the babys needs. Research clearly provides evidence that parents self awareness is directly linked with children’s well-being and capacity to thrive.

3. And if you’re hurting (and still committed) do the 12 hour Couple Inner Retreat Program to heal and reconnect, seeing the best in each other again. You can choose to do the Program via a one or two day Couple inner retreat with me to fast track your learning ..then follow up with more 2 hour sessions as needed. 

What if every couple knew their Couple D.N.ATM?
(Dynamics . Neurobiology . Attention)

There would be fewer misinterpretations, less blaming and judging

more understanding, 
growth & connection

About Tracy Baker-Lawrence

Tracy Baker-Lawrence is a leading Australian personality expert and relationship psychologist, and a certified Enneagram practitioner. She has worked with the Enneagram as a therapist with individuals and couples for over 20 years. She trained extensively in the Enneagram, in Australia and the USA, and presented at the International Enneagram conference in 2018 on The Ethical application of the Enneagram. She is a professional member of the Internal Enneagram Association and the Enneagram Collaborative Global, where she is presenting in June. 

Over the two decades Tracy has facilitated live panels, and conducted over 3000 clinical typing interviews, codifying peoples body language and behaviour to hone her skills in determining accurately, and working with, each client’s personality developmental pathway (PDP). She also spent 4 years working towards a PhD to provide evidence of the Enneagram’s clinical efficacy in therapy and created a relationship matrix explaining predictable differences between people in their neurobiology, beliefs, attention, core needs and reactions. 

As she is passionate about early intervention, Tracy founded The Insight Agency, an agency for change and a Business for Good, 4 years ago. Since then she has been researching and working with couples, married up to 40 years & at the point of separation, to determine what they could have known and done differently early in their relationship that would have prevented the hurt they were now experiencing. Every time 3 primary risk factors were determined and these have been converted into protective factors that underlie her methodology. 

So, based upon her clinical knowledge, neuroscience and the best research on thriving relationships, Tracy developed a unique therapeutic ‘ATTUNED’ relationship methodology,  “Your Couple D.N.A” Method, to understand partner’s unique Dynamics based on their Neurobiology and Attention. The method deepens partners accurate understanding of one another, by discovering partner’s unconscious core motivations, blind spots, early wounds and needs and how these interact, in a way that builds compassion and intimacy. This method has been tested with 100s of couples and having prevented many marriages from separation and divorce, is now offered as a pre marriage Program, Australia’s first divorce prevention program that can predict and prevent misunderstandings and challenges and future proof love.

Tracy also trains psychologists in the Enneagram, runs women’s workshops on “The Alchemy of Love”, does webinars and inner retreats,  has written a 60 page eBook and is writing a book to be published in 2025 for couples on “Discovering their Couple D.N.A”. 

About the ATTUNED methodology

This methodology incorporates your Couple D.N.A.™ and the B.O.T.H. model™.  Every couple has their own unique Dynamics – based upon each partner’s Neurobiology (hardwiring & personality) and where each partner’s Attention in life goes. Uncovering how these factors interact, alongside shared knowledge of their life experiences, conditioning, wounds and needs, we can empower couples with the insights they need to protect their love from the start, or finally resolve their particular recurring Infinity Trap. Working with the ‘why’ – the root cause of relationship pain,  partners come to accurately understand and fully appreciate each other and their differences, removing blame and defensiveness AND knowing how to grow and heal as individuals and as a couple. Unlike any other relationship enhancement work, which tends to be generic, this method is uniquely tailored to the nature of each partner. The method is based on the 4 principles of functional medicine & effective early intervention: it is personalised, predictive, preventative and prescriptive. 

No other relationship work combines in-depth personality, knowledge of blindspots and unconscious
motivations with research on thriving relationships to deliver tailored relationship maps to help couples deeply understand each other and increase their connection and intimacy. 

The insight Agency is on a mission to to use this transformative methodology to help couples quickly and easily gain insight, understanding and empathy for themselves and each other and find the deep love and connection they’ve always longed for. When they truly understand their own inner world and their partner’s ….. everything changes…….they recognise the wonderful potential and higher purpose to their unique union. 

What if every time we meet

something good

happens in the world?

The insight Agency is a ‘Business For Good’ which means that for every insight session a child in need is fed or receives much needed counselling.

I believe in the power of heart, hope and action in creating a more compassionate world. And I believe it is up to us to create the change we want to see in the world.
 
The insight Agency has partnered with B1G1 (Business for Good) and in aligning with the United Nations Sustainable Goals, hopes to inspire others to be a force for positive impact also.
 

The insight Agency is passionate about enhancing your relationship and is very grateful for your contribution in creating more health & well-being in the world.

Get in touch

Tracy Baker-Lawrence Relationship & Personality Psychologist/ Founding Director

Please phone, text or send me a message and I will get back to you shortly.