At the end of the day Love is all that matters. Yet love and intimate relationships are often our greatest source of pain and frustration. When you think about all the ways that each person is different from another, it is understandable that relationships can be very challenging. Peoples experience of romantic love is the other person makes them feel really good about themselves, sees the best in them, appreciates them and is focused on pleasing them and meeting their needs. And then it changes. At some undetectable point. The little differences that were once appreciated become sources of frustration. For example I hear “ I loved that my partner was so sociable, as Im more quiet, but now Im resentful because they want me to go out all the time”. John Gottman has identified that 65% of the conflictual issues that couples experience are perpetual (rather than solveable) because of partners’ personality differences, and continue eating away at the relationship without ever being resolved. Partners then often blame one another for not changing to be more like them, and get increasingly demanding, resentful and hurt that their partner doesn’t change.
The research shows that most couples don’t come to therapy for help with relational issues until the issues are cemented at about 6 years, and by then each partner is so set on getting their own needs met, that haven’t been met, that they have reduced interest in trying to meet their partners needs. And therapy comes to a standstill. So it is critical that partners, in the early stages of their relationship, understand their differences and where they come from : ie they understand the beliefs they hold about themselves and the world, which drive where they place their attention, the self identity that each works hard to defend, their unconscious motivations and blind spots, their unmet childhood needs that bring past issues in the present relationship, and their precious , usually poorly expressed, needs.
Couple Insight Sessions
1 hour 15 minutes
These sessions help resolve repeating patterns & enhance understanding, empathy and connection in your relationship. Learn how the Dynamics operating in your relationship are a result of your combined personalities. Understanding each others beliefs, motivations and needs more deeply and accurately can be a game changer in how you interpret and relate to one another. These sessions will help you both grow and develop your relationship.
Discover Your Couple D.N.A
A couple program of 4 sessions designed to discover your unique Couple D.N.A. (Dynamics. Neurobiology. Attention) – to build deep understanding between partners – for life.
This program includes: 1. Exploring your dynamics and helping you both feel understood 2. Two individual sessions to assess neurobiology and personality 3. A tailored personality map for each partner 4. A session to provide a map of how your two personalities intersect – the B.O.T.H Map – which explains your relationship ‘rubs’ and can future proof your relationship and protect your greatest asset.
Parenting & Your Couple D.N.A Workshop
8 hours and over
This two day workshop combines the best science from The Gottman Institute on preparing for parenthood, with the knowledge needed to understand who you each are, and who you are together – your unique Couple D.N.A. By understanding the dynamics in your relationship that will surface over the years of your parenting, the challenges you may face and the gifts you each bring, you can grow together, and as a family.
Whether you are planning a baby, pregnant, or have a baby or child – this evidence-based workshop provides a foundation for you to be the best partners & parents you can be.
Workshops for individuals and couples, which cover what you must know about the unconscious motivations and dynamics in your relationships. It’s critical to know how different personalities affect relationships and understand those differences with compassion. This knowledge has been shown to significantly enhance relationships and improve connection.
Either a full retreat day or a series of 4 group workshops 6:30 – 8.30pm for four weeks.